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大一结束的暑假写的一些总结和规划
更多地是胡言乱语吧，随笔记录
应该会有后续吧




小时候一直都在幻想自己长大后的光彩模样，也渐渐认清自己到底什么样。不断长大，经历越来越多的事情，走到不同阶段，不同的心态，不同的为人处世。也慢慢地也..." />
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              <h1 class="title ularge white bold">四分之一</h1>
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<ul>
<li>大一结束的暑假写的一些总结和规划</li>
<li>更多地是胡言乱语吧，随笔记录</li>
<li>应该会有后续吧</li>
</ul>
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<!-- more -->
<ul>
<li>小时候一直都在幻想自己长大后的光彩模样，也渐渐认清自己到底什么样。不断长大，经历越来越多的事情，走到不同阶段，不同的心态，不同的为人处世。也慢慢地也从一切的按部就班的所谓的寒窗生涯到了疲于选择的咸鱼日常。</li>
<li>之前的一切按部就班完全是建立在自己想要未来一切无所拘束的奢望的基础上的，毕业之后觉得解脱了，觉得自己身上全是年轻，可以做自己很多想做的事，比如和自己喜欢的人在一起，比如生活也渐渐有了自己的角色，存在感也逐渐爆棚～。慢慢地不免沉溺于所谓的虚荣，对外在的有利条件要求太多，而内心又不够充实，好比已经被虫蛀空了树干的大树，结局也很显然就算再枝繁叶茂，也只不过是昙花一现，最终暴露在人们眼前的其实是腐烂与不堪。</li>
<li>在这个四分之一的起点，难免走弯路、犯错、碌碌无为，并不能一味地否定自己，招摇地说自己走在错的路上，其实就是因为四分之一起点的原因呢，一个曾经没有睁眼的人，现在要自己走了，睁眼之后免不了自己不断去尝试，浅尝辄止也罢，深陷其中也罢，都是在慢慢地习惯自己去看，自己去闯，也渐渐褪去之前的依赖和稚气。</li>
<li>从零到四分之一的这个结点，有很多前所未有的经历和体验，有的是张狂，有的是压抑，有的是担当，有的是逃避，有的是放纵，有的是克制……没心没肺的大笑，凌晨马路旁的歌声，酒瓶的清脆撞击，让人肚子疼的三俗笑话，不分昼夜的卧谈会，正经事面前的不假思索，处心积虑的邂逅，假装镇定的寒暄，天花乱坠的计划和打算，随波逐流的盲从，分身乏术的慵懒，逃避选择的恣意妄为，信誓旦旦的作死flag，麻烦面前的随性而为，玩笑里的一本正经，自私自利的套路和当局者的如痴如醉，人过境迁的清醒和旁观者的谈笑自若；不担当不退却，热衷于言听计从，不自大不谦逊，仍不忘怒刷存在感。也有无数温柔待人的暖心细节，也还是经历过落寞郁闷致死的漫漫长夜……还算丰富，还算精彩，但也还是有那么一些不甘。的确不如那些计划安排的都好好的人一样能够从容自若地跟着自己的节奏，或是忙忙碌碌的充实，或是闲情逸致的欢愉，又或是随性到底的洒脱，郁郁而终的悔恨……但至少也有一波未平一波又起的波折，比起百无聊赖，跌宕起伏的起承转合倒是还能让人时刻对生活有一种期待与好奇，也就没了当初的愤世嫉俗、自我伤非，反而倒显得多了一些从容，多了一些成熟。</li>
<li>以前的不服输不甘示弱死要面子在经历了这么一年之后不说完全戒除，至少有了改观。当年那位与众人舌战群儒喋喋不休自命不凡的少年现在学会了宽容、隐忍、砥砺德行，相信每个人都和自己一样，有自己的想法，有自己的为人处世的方式，每个人都有自己的不同，而不再和以前一样非要把自己的主观意志强加给对方，很多事本没有对错，有的只是不同的方式和不同的结果。也渐渐明白不是所有都能通过自己感天动地的努力就能如愿以偿的，有的时候其实只是剑走偏锋，也不是所有的收获都得通过最后的一锤定音来真实反映的，其实对于自己，没必要那么功利地要求自己去得到一个他人艳羡自我满足于虚荣带来的快乐的结果，可能一路走来尽收眼底的匆匆逝去的一棵树一阵风才是最好的收获。就好比自己喜欢一个人的时候觉得自己要和她一起走过看过一路的风雨和彩虹，其实无意中会发现有那么一个在慢慢成长的自己，学会体谅学会担当学会照顾学会自立学会爱人，结果历来都是平分秋色，一拍即合或是形同陌路，但在这个追逐的过程里一直都是一位满腔热血，无畏风雨，顶天立地的渐渐长大的少年的身影！</li>
<li>对于家人，自己就好像常在港口往来的帆船，曾经的十多年一直躲在避风港里无数次幻想出海后的天地，到了出海的那一天还是对未知的好奇要超过离开港湾的不舍，慢慢的一个人去经历风雨，桅杆折断，逆风航行，经历了一些之前未经历过的苦难后也开始怀念小港的安静与舒服，渐渐也体会到了灯塔守护人的良苦用心，无论风雨，灯塔照旧，就好像一直在等，等着一条伤痕累累需要回到港口休整然后继续出发的小船。出海后的天地很广阔，十多年一直向往未知和自由的船儿也渐渐喜欢上了弄潮时的惊险、平静时的安宁，喜欢上了潮起潮落，喜欢上了这充满无数未知惊喜的海，也就慢慢地忘了帆后一直闪着的灯光，也忘了灯塔守护人的坚持……相比之前而言，自己在对家人的态度还是有了很大改观，慢慢地理解到他们作为长辈的深思熟虑与责任担当，也知道自己未来也会接过他们手中的接力棒，或是主动关心，或是主动说一句以前难以启齿的想念，又或是说一些父母最想听到的儿女的日常，种种种种……在自己长大的同时也不忘回头看看身后默默守护灯塔的家人，除了寒暄，这次回家一定要尝试只有很小的时候才会有的拥抱，不为别的，就只为了把这么多年憋在心里没有表达出来的爱意至少在今后的日子里能够充分闪耀！</li>
<li>可能在总结了这么一番之后，外在的东西并不会改变多少，但至少知道自己还是在长大，心智也渐渐成熟，可能对于外在还是存在几分苛求，但相信自己也会慢慢地努力，不再有当年困难面前畏缩不前的胆小懦弱手足无措，而是迎难而上的不惧风雨沉着处事。也还有很多没尝试过的一些长大路上必须经历的事，但总会有身体力行的那一天的，现在的话做好心理准备，抓住机会，慢慢地扛起属于自己的担子，不再想东想西，而是有一些真正意义上会倾尽自己心血的事，一些自己要真正坚持、真正去拼去努力得到的所谓的“奢求”，当然也不忘身边的人以及身后的人，慢慢蜕去扎人的刺，用坦诚和爱来慢慢抚平之前因为自己带给周围人的“创伤”。</li>
<li>总之，小时候床头挂的牛头配饰上面写的四个大字，可能就是我这毕生追寻的信仰了！——顶天立地</li>
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